A False Impression...

When I was in high school, I (like so many) endured the "trauma" of wearing braces. All in all, it wasn't a horrible experience as it didn't take that long for me (a little over a year, I believe). However, there was one part I didn't care for. I didn't have enough teeth on the bottom, so they made a space large enough to insert a false tooth. You can imagine how that must have felt...having a hole in your smile for several months...especially for a teenager who already struggled to fit in. At any rate, I endured it and then received my reward- a false tooth that filled the gap beautifully. I never realized how much I rely on that tooth until last night.

I was sitting on the sofa, having just finished a nice bowl of cereal when I felt something stuck between that false tooth and the one next to it. I tried to use my fingernail to pry it loose. However, I quickly found my false tooth in my hand instead of the cereal I was attempting to dislodge. There it was again- the hole in my mouth...the gap in my pride. I was supposed to leave for Dallas the next morning to see my mother. That plan quickly flew out the window as I realized that Monday is a holiday and if I wanted any chance of getting this fixed in a timely manner, I would need to stay and call every dentist in town. The next morning at 8 a.m. I began my phone campaign. Desperately seeking Dentist...Will Pay Cash...Willing to Drive the Distance. I ended up in Shawnee a few hours later.

At this point, I am positive that my prayers have been answered and the gap will be filled soon (fast food soon), restoring my ego to its upright position. How could I have been so wrong? When did I forget who is in charge? I felt so vain as I left the office...still "holey" with an appointment card in my hand that read: June 10th 3:30. I would have to wait for the swollen gum to regain its normal shape and then they could fit me for a new appliance (a retainer with a tooth attached). I had this same appliance in High School...the prospect of getting another was almost more than I could bare. Suddenly, I felt like a fat, pimply faced teenager with a hole in her mouth. The years of life experience and new-found adult confidence vanished in an instant, just like my tooth. How could I smile? How could I laugh? How could I talk? And most troublesome of all to me, how could I sing?

That's when it hit me- a slap in the toothless face! "Who are you singing for, Mika? Just who are you looking to impress?" And it all came crashing down- my ideal world- captain of my ship- pilot of my plane- author of my plot- doer of my destiny! The control I seek, the outcome I desire are not mine to have. This humility settled in as I began the long drive home, rubbing my tongue in the empty space that now exists for the sole purpose of reminding me whose I am. Pride is a funny thing. It leaves a false impression on us all. And I am just another sucker who fell for it!