Desperate for Relief...

All through jr. high school, high school, college and into my adulthood I have struggled with acne. I know it's not cancer or anything life threatening, but there are times when I feel like I know the emotional pain the lepers must have experienced. If only there were a colony to live in and be surrounded by others who are afflicted! High School was the worst. I won't pretend that people stood in circles around me, pointing and laughing. It was worse than that. The circle was made up of just one face: my own. A constant barrage of insults were being hurled inside my own head- the birthplace of my insecurity. In college, I was fortunate enough to meet my husband who didn't seem to mind. Besides, I thought hope was just around the corner. I mean, you NEVER see people struggle with this stuff into their twenties, do you? WRONG. Here I sit, 31 and afflicted. However, I recently began using a new line of skin care products called A Cute Derm. My dear, sweet Emily introduced me to it and I'm hooked now! For the past few months, I have been able to experience the joys of clear skin. I know it sounds vain, but the fact is that it has (I believe) helped me in many, many other ways. My confidence is up and I've begun to lose weight. I think what I saw in the mirror before kept me from really living life to its fullest! Now I feel like I'm worth a little time and attention.

This weekend I purchased a new product...some wipes to treat acne...from the same company. The day I began to use them, the pimples slowly sought their vengeance on me. One by one, they reared their ugly heads until, at last, I was staring at that same pimply faced girl in the mirror with a gallon of ice cream in one hand and a spoon in the other. "I will NOT go down without a fight!" I made some calls, desperate to hear some form of the word discontinue. However, I was surprised to be told that the product was working, flushing out the toxins that are beneath my skin. In a few days, I am told, I will begin to see a difference and my skin will glow! The girl named Patience inside of me (she's a small woman) could see the benefits of suffering for a few days to gain a great reward. The rest of me sunk into a valley of doubt and insecurity. My mind began racing. Is there anyway I could hide out for a week? What about church? I think that head coverings got a bad rap! I'm in!

Seriously, two days later, I am beginning to see light at the end of the tunnel. It's small and it's difficult to see past the pimples, but it's there: hope. And I am, more than ever, beginning to realize my struggle on this earth. Insecurity...in various forms. Weight. Missing teeth. Acne. In short- imperfection. I know so many are desperate for relief...relief from all kinds of dramatic things...things I cannot begin to imagine or understand. But today, I am desperate for relief from my own shortcomings and from the inability to accept myself this way- broken. Broken and desperate for a Healer.